Life is getting tougher while I start working. Even though the company comprises of 7 ppl, there are alrdy politics that i cant seem to handle. On top of this, there were a series of disappointment...not major ones but jus enough to get me complainting in my blog. What I just want to conclude is dont ever be a nice person...because it ends up like "plucking the moon"-(Something that shows no results). U know what? it's getting so hard to chance upon ppl who are appreciative and kind..When my conciuous starts to outwit my mind, i'll decide to give in even though this allows my heart to sink. Humans are complicated, and dun even try to understand them...They disappoint you...But bcos they affect you so much, means you care..I love my job scope but cant really promise that i'll like all of my colleagues at the end of the day.


Y? When you wish to be alone, you feel lonely...but even when you feel lonely, you see no point to relate to anyone? Is this call selfish or is it just bcos you think that you have not enough time to be alone.Or maybe you just need more time.

Shalom in me(-.-)
11:41 PM

y didn't i blog so long is because i'm doing web blogpage and it took me so long time. MST just over n i'm glad tt I'm so close to God...who know my deepest heart...know that i study without really knowing well will the info be useful to me, will i go uni and why do i need to study so hard.

My mum's one of the closest friend past away during my exam...Half the time missing her while studying and thinking back abt whenever i c her, she never fail to ask me to study hard... she had nv look down on me on the course i study when compare to her sons who are excellence in their studies.

Nowadays, i'm sensing that God is asking me to be still, spending time wisely yet GENEROUSLY on things that are worthwhile of. Ystd went bbq at my friend's condo and when we are bbqing meshmellow...my friend say to me:"Patient is virtue". N everytime i fail to grill my meshmellow properly....hahas..

Life needs a lot of patient..is abt everytime u think u are wasting your time on something and then u begin to reflect if are u running out of patient in life...if u need to be still, quiet, telling yourselves tt when u spend time with ppl u love, when u spend time in study or anything God wants u to do...IT IS NOT WASTING TIME if it requires a lot of time.

Smile=)

Shalom in me(-.-)
12:35 PM

It's back to sch once more...n i would like to say i'm alrdy missing sch life. Dun feel like being late for lsn like how i ve always been late for 30mins..dun feel like slping in class anymore... Lsn..module still sucks...but i'm begining to appreciate it now.. I thanks God for giving me such a happy life this far n i noe many more are coming up...=D

Shalom in me(-.-)
10:22 PM

Complaints? Y do so many ppl like to complaints even though we know tt it wont even help in situations at times?

hmmm...really learnt this over the years that complaints are really something that can bring ppl closer, esp to close friend...like how i will complaint to my bestie and cheng hui. REcently was incessently nagged by parents till i begin to question whether it was my problem or wat... In unbearable situations like that, i really wan to COMPLAINT. BUT,WAT IS THE USE OF COMPLAINING!

Do you know that bitterness can be v infectious? n Complaint is one of the catalyts..

but DO STOP COMPLAINTING STOP UR PROBLEMS? no/.

i did two things...n it seem to working: one is to sit down n c all the angles of my problem. Turn out going in circles. hai. Second is to go for a jog...it helps...one of my best way to destress ba. guess wat...still bitter wat.

u noe wat, actually all of us noe the best way to stop wanting to complaint. REALLY. is to see the reasons behind y problems happen. I know i'm saying it until everything is v easy to settle, it's like:

Problem+ Know the reaons behind = Stop complaining.

After writting tis much, i just only want to tell you all and myself something... dun stop complainting just for the sake of bluffing urself u dun nid to complaint...BE STRONG and determine, do something that will stop u fr the urge of complaining. if u think complaint is a must, den go ahead n do so...a friend will listen to you one...but oso dun complaint too much lah, starting solving the root cause.!

that all folks.=D

Shalom in me(-.-)
12:03 AM

Been really enjoying myself in holidays.

In situations whereby we are tested for Gal5:22...
love, joy, peace, paitence, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...

I tighten my fists, shutters my teeth and stand strong.

Went to eat gelare icecream just now...finally after donkey yrs..pleasures of lives...absolutly impt. hahahs

Shalom in me(-.-)
12:31 AM

L.T our main speaker in camp allow me to brought back a concept of individualism.

MOre teenagers are so absorbed into themselves and everything they do is for themselves. Plucking into mp3 players n as a result cutting themselves fr the outside world, apathetic abt matters among them. Matters? Not to mention abt global issues, are them concerned even for their friends and family.? How many so us find it a dreadful thing to talk to our immed. family menbers? Even i'm gulity...U noe family, or even friends conversation might not be that of wat u prefer to hear, how patient n how much effort are we putting in to see that communication is an essential and meaningful thing?

Even i... just wanna stay at home n talk to no one, just enaging in things that i find 'rest' . In fact, 'rest' means finding pleasure for myself, like playing psp n stuff.

Becareful over the meaning of introvert and individualism... At times, when u choose to be alone, n u hang over an invincible sign of 'leave me alone', is it bcos u hate to talk to others in topics that disinterest u or u just need rest.? In grp setting, are you quiet bcos u are listening to ppl or have u alrdy put on a mask pretending to listen yet has long ago cut off from the grp n thinking abt ur own stuffs?

Conversations? ARe we thinking on how can we edify each other thru conversations, or are we plainly talking abt issues tt concerns only on ourselves? Think hard.

How selfish can we be? How much have we choose to focus on other ppl rather than ourselves?

Leon, my di di...struck me wit a msg toady: RAndomtots..."Ppl are suffering in pains in parts of the world which we dun know. Ppl are crying for GOD and yet they can't find. But sometimes here we are in our comfort zone complaining abt little problems. So are we listening to GOD's heart? Are we thankful to GOD for where we are now?

Take sometime to digest..n not to walk away without thinking. =D

Shalom in me(-.-)
11:08 PM

It's really time to blog ya. I just came back from camp complete..was so happy that the purpose of our committee was met..we say we are gonna be united to make this camp as smooth as possible..n i felt like i was working with a family..warmth and united.

I love camps...n i think ppl are encourage to go camps as much as they can. U know little things like depriving fr good slp, good shower and time to do other things cant be ur excuses to go for a camp. I thanks my angel along wit ppl tt encouraged me over my responsibility of bein a worship coordinator cum worship leader. The tot of not doing until v fantastic but ppl still encourage me, :well done here n there...hmm. I guess praises r neva too generous to give. N i ve to confess tt standing on 'stage' to lead others is a joy. plus, Lame games like throwing chicken as captian ball, group discussion n slping on floor are smthing v fun.

ppl kip on asking me wat i want to do after poly...i dunno. NO PLANS u know...wanted to go poor country to help out...but situations dun allow. tings like skin allegies, family disaproval n lack of experience n more sort of disquality my dream.

but ppl if you are like me wit no plans...we gonna think hard alrdy..."find a job u like, n u never going to work a single day" hahas.

Shalom in me(-.-)
11:30 AM

just came back from conference camp..integrated mission integrated life.



there is really lots to be shared and the best thing is that it can sum up in one sentence, that is to look upon God 24/7, following close to His heartbeat. I was so passionate n tot that the 3 full day(each day 8 hours) of studies about God wil solve my problems. in fact, yes...but life is stil the same...u c, u change doesn't mean ppl change. hmmm, same kind of stress...

true, i look upon role models bcos they are ppl that we draws encouragement fr...one of whom is Dr Tan Lai yong. he has all the reasons to be proud bcos of all his GRAND awards, but the sincere smile tt he had generously put on make me respect him alot. A missionary doctor who was offered a company for million $ FREE, gave up...and went staying in yunan to lead a poor life....understanding villages in yunan. HE said" when i first touched down in yunan, as i see my daughter playing beside me, n the plane flying away, I was CRYING....is this fair for my daughter?" A man tt sacrifies his career and the privilege rights of his family...in order to help POOR villages.but i noe, he has gain so much more.

Random lessons.

by being vunerable, u will never be the same again when u choose to go a certain way...it is either u become better or u fall.. true.

unless u apply, there is no nid for me to teach u new thing-vinoth. true

thre's no reasons to be proud impacting 1000s of lives, when we know a quater million HIV patients are still waiting for u to be saved'- Lai yon. true

Studies is part of missions...going church n going study nv hv 2 different reasons

"we are oso the same...same rara-ness, same struggles"-uni friends( there was no barries btw the uni n poly...which i always tot there was.)

hmmm. lastly, i went to avril lavigne concert...followed up next time=p

Random tots, Random endings..hahas

Shalom in me(-.-)
12:37 PM